In Too Deep
by lbd89
Summary: Rachel Corcoran had a good childhood. Her mom is loving and caring. When she's 15, she looks for her birth certificate to get her driver's permit and comes up empty. As she looks into her past, she starts to question if her mom is really her mom. AU


**A/N:** This prologue sets the stage for the story. After this chapter, Rachel will be fifteen. The main relationship in the story is Rachel/Shelby. There will also be some Rachel/Jesse and other characters may pop up as well. R&R please.

**Prologue**

Being an actress is the only thing Shelby Corcoran ever wanted. And, Broadway was the only place she wanted to be. Money was the only thing standing between her and her dream. All she needed was enough money to live in New York and audition. So, she answered an ad in the paper. Nine months work and she would have enough money to live in New York for a few years. That's all it ever was to her. A job. She wasn't a mother. She was a surrogate for two gay men. She pretended the baby was nothing to her. But when she saw the baby…no, her daughter, everything changed. Emotions swirled around inside her like a hurricane. Longing for the baby that was just a few feet out of reach. Regret that she signed a contract promising not to contact her daughter for eighteen years. Most of all, love for her daughter. And, then, unbearable pain because she couldn't act out her love. She buried the hurt deep down inside of her. She couldn't have an emotional breakdown. She had to be in control of her emotions. Actresses were always in control of their emotions. Every tear…every smile is carefully calculated. So, she pushed her emotions aside and went to New York. But, her life didn't go the way she planned. After two years in New York, she still hadn't made it as an actress. And, then, she got sick and needed surgery. With no medical insurance, there was no money left after the hospital bills were paid. The surgery left her unable to have any more children. She had nothing. No family, no career, no money. Just regret.

The few days after her surgery were the darkest she's ever had to endure. She saw other patients in the hospital visited by their families…fathers getting angry with the doctors because their children were in pain and the doctors didn't have a miracle cure, mothers comforting their children, small children crying because they didn't know if their mothers or fathers would be okay. She would never have that. She was alone in the world. No visitors. Not one person cared if she lived or died. Not one person would miss her if she were gone. That's when Shelby Corcoran decided she could no longer live without her daughter.

So, she travels back to Ohio. She parks outside of the Berry house and tries to figure out her next move. Should she break the contract? Before she can make up her mind, the door opens and Hiram Berry comes out with a little girl…her daughter. The girl is wearing a black leotard and pink tights and has a dance bag over her right shoulder. She looks just like Shelby. The long brown hair, the face, the eyes…it's Shelby. Hiram takes the girl's hand and they walk toward the car parked in the driveway. As they walk, the girl talks animatedly. Hiram says something that makes her break into a wide smile. He helps her into the car seat in the backseat and then gets in the driver seat. The happy little girl is her daughter. She's not a baby any more. Shelby's missed so much. Her daughter's first steps, first words, first dance recital. She decides right then and there that she's not going to miss any more.

She goes to see a lawyer. She puts a piece of paper on the lawyer's desk for him to see. It's her copy of the contract she signed over two years ago. The lawyer takes the contract and reads it. She waits for him to finish reading and look up.

"I can't contact her until she's eighteen. She's my daughter. I can't wait any longer," Shelby says. Her eyes silently plead with him to give her good news.

"Did you understand the contract when you signed it?" He asks.

"I did," Shelby admits.

"Did anyone force you to sign it?" He asks.

Shelby shakes her head.

"I'm sorry. This contract is iron clad. I can't find any loopholes. You can't get out of it," he says.

"You don't understand! I have to get out of it!" Shelby cries out. There's a hint of desperation in her voice.

"I don't know what to tell you. Short of proving that her father isn't able to care for her, there's nothing you can do," he says.

_There's nothing you can do._ That's it. The words push her over the edge. A few tears escape the gates she usually locks her emotions behind. She hates herself for crying. Tears are for the weak. Shelby Corcoran is strong. She doesn't give up. No, she's a fighter. So, she takes a deep breath and wipes her tears away. She can't be emotional. She has to be logical. She knows she can't prove that Hiram and Leroy Berry aren't able to care for her daughter. The little girl she saw was happy and loved. She wonders if she could convince them to allow her to meet her daughter. She remembers that they wouldn't even let her hold her daughter when she was born and knows they won't.

Shelby Corcoran will do anything to get what she wants. She doesn't follow rules. She's calculating and manipulative. So, when she realizes there's no way she'll be able to know her daughter at all legally, she decides to get her daughter back illegally and comes up with a plan. She thinks of everything. Each step of the plan is carefully thought-out. She follows the steps to the letter. Each step brings her closer to her daughter. Finally, after one long week of preparations, she's ready. She just has to wait for an opportunity.

Such an opportunity presents itself on Saturday afternoon. Hiram takes the little girl to the mall. Shelby watches from a distance as Hiram and the girl go into the shoe store. They come out with a shopping bag and go to the food court. Hiram picks her up and puts her down in a chair. He puts the shopping bag down on the chair next to her. He leans down and says something to her. He points to the Dairy Queen a few feet away from the table, showing her where he'll be. She nods her head. And, then, he walks away and gets in line. As he waits in line, he turns around to check on the girl every few seconds. When the teenage boy behind the counter takes Hiram's order, Shelby knows this is it. It's now or never.

Without hesitation, Shelby picks the girl up and quickly heads to the parking lot. Lucky for her, the girl doesn't start crying. When Hiram turns around with two ice cream cones, his daughter is gone. He only looked away for two minutes. That's all it took.

Instead of crying, the little girl stares at Shelby, fascinated by the woman. Curious, she watches the light glint off the gold star earring Shelby's wearing. Then, she reaches out to touch Shelby's hair. By the time she loses interest in Shelby and it dawns on her that she can't see her dad anymore, they're on the other side of the mall.

"Where's Daddy?" The girl asks. Her voice is soft. Shy.

The question startles Shelby. She has no answer. There are no words that will put the little girl at ease. Her only response is to walk faster.

"Where's Daddy?" The girl demands. Again. This time, her voice is louder.

Shelby realizes the girl is going to keep asking until she gets an answer. And Shelby can't give her the answer she wants. Shelby sighs slowly.

"Daddy's not here right now. I'm here…Mommy's here. What do you need?" Shelby says.

When Shelby steps out of the mall and the girl realizes her dad isn't coming, her pouty lower lip sticks out.

"I want Daddy!" The girl yells. Her tears start.

Looking around the parking lot, Shelby doesn't see any shoppers eyeing her suspiciously. In fact, no one gives her a second look. Her daughter looks just like her. Everyone sees a mother with a tired toddler. Not a kidnapper with her victim. Still, Shelby quickly walks to her car. With no help from the screaming and kicking little girl, Shelby gets the girl into her car seat.

It's an uncomfortably loud car ride out of Lima. Shelby can't stop her daughter from crying. The girl wants Hiram or Leroy. Not Shelby. Shelby is a virtual stranger. This isn't going the way Shelby planned. Shelby's hope is slowly turning into desperation. Sorrow. Rejection. Every time the girl screams for _Daddy_, Shelby can sense her heart breaking a little more.

Several miles away from the mall, Shelby suddenly pulls the car over. As tires screech on the road, the scared girl's cries get louder. Shelby turns around to look at her daughter. The girl's face is red and tears are rolling down her cheeks. Shelby considers turning the car around for a second. She wants nothing more than to give her daughter what she wants…her dad. But she can't. It's too late. If she goes back, she'll get arrested. So, she does the only thing she can do: she keeps driving.

After what feels like forever to Shelby, the girl's cries finally stop. The girl's eyes are too heavy to keep open. Her short, ragged breaths even out. Emotionally and physically exhausted, she falls asleep.

About an hour away from Lima, Shelby pulls the car to a stop at their new home. She carefully gets the sleeping girl out. The girl's arms wrap tightly around Shelby and her head rests on Shelby's shoulder. A wave of warmth encircles Shelby's heart.

She carries her daughter into her new bedroom and gently puts her in the new crib. The urge to kiss her daughter overwhelms her. So, she leans down and presses her lips to the girl's forehead. She turns off the light as she walks out of the room. She leaves her daughter sleeping peacefully. Somehow, she's hopeful and afraid at the same time.

Scared of what she may see, Shelby watches the local news. There's a picture of her daughter on the screen. The news reports that the girl was kidnapped from Lima Mall. No one saw anything. There are no security cameras in the older mall. At this time, the police have no suspects. The girl disappeared without a trace. Shelby begins to believe she's going to live happily ever after with her daughter.

It takes weeks for the girl to get comfortable around Shelby. It takes months for her to stop asking about her dads. The memories the girl has of her dads fade away with every day. She finds herself making new memories with her mom.


End file.
